Link's Amazing Quest for the Bathroom Part 2 of 2
by ShikiDixi
Summary: one-shot bathroom crack-fic. Part 1 is on Cheertastic123's profile! - Ali


**Disclaimer: I don't own OOT Link, Navi, Hyrule, or the great toilet**

**If you didn't know, part 1 is on Cheertastic123's profile! **

**ENJOY! **

Deep in the depths of a night casted Hyrule Field, a sudden rustling bounds around the silence. The source of the racket soon explodes out of the bushes, a small green-clothed boy is potty dancing in the faint moonlight.

"Link, if you don't stop that, I will personally beat you with your own stupid sword!" A small winged figure in blue yelled at the Master Sword bearer.

The child merely replied by dashing off.

"No, Link, the river is that way!" The annoyed fairy pointed the opposite direction that Link was going. He dashed back, so fast that he knocked the fairy to the ground with the draft he made, "Stupid!"

Approaching the Zora River, tears started to stream out of the green-clad hero's eyes. Seeing the running water was killing him. Unfortunately, if he closed his sapphire eyes, then the sound of rushing tides would magnify. Either that or he would smash into a wall.

"Link, the waterfall's right in fro-," Navi was cut off as the boy literally jumped to the top in a single bound. Looking quite annoyed as she flew up, the blue fairy continued, "As I was saying, I do believe you don't have something needed to enter," Link only gave her a questioning look.

Swiftly realizing what she meant, the boy slapped all over his miniature body in search of a non-existent ocarina. Sweatdropping, the boy turned his pale face to the fairy. Placing the cheesiest smile on his face, Link jumped off the ledge in a swift, clean motion, a fairy screaming her blue-head off at the splashing boy.

Attempting with all of his might, Link held in every drop of urine in as the current frisked them to the drawbridge. Link anxiously clawed his way out of the current, his companion, with her usual face on, was right behind, "Why do I follow you anyways… Oh, if I didn't, one, the Deku Tree would murder me, two, you would be dead!"

Completely ignoring her, Link dashed past the milk carrier, who was for some reason still asleep. Briskly jumping into the little cavern that led into the ever-guarded courtyard, Link was soon slinking around.

As he was crawling over a soldier's head Navi whispered something, "Hey, why didn't you just go in the river?"

Link fell to the ground with a great thud in surprise, but for some reason the guard didn't turn on him. Lifting his face from the dirt, the hero gave the fairy a flash of muddy teeth.

_(Flashback)_

_ As Link was standing above the grand Zoran River relieving himself of a mighty load, the boy happened to notice about 20 Zoras floating. He waved a hello to them, but when they didn't return the reply, the green-child inspected them closer._

_ Scaling a massive two inches into the air, he attempted to run from the dead bodies. Only to be stopped by guards who'd noticed the mess. He was soon banned from peeing in the Zoran River._

_ (End of Flashback)_

Navi just sweatdropped. Link noticed the guard coming back around and clumsily jumped upwards. Just barely making it to the beam, he held by his frail fingers. However, even though his over-sized brown boots were hanging right in his face, the guard simply brushed the confused boy's feet aside and continued.

Finally pulling himself back on the beam, Link continued crawling, sprinting, observing, standing, and chatting around the guards. Bidding a farewell to the last fool, the green boy and his fairy scampered into the clearing. Zelda was not there, but Link knew which window led to her room.

In slow-mo Link dashed to the window and leaped, his boots thrust forward. Weirdly, however, his upper body was back to moving normally, but his lower half was still slow.

Staring hatefully at his boots, Link floated there. Three long days sunned and setted, when suddenly, his tight and boot covered feet broke free. Smashing straight into the stained glass, Link and Navi tumbled head first into the Princess' room.

Zelda whipped round from her vanity, "Link?" Then quickly covering her ugly morning face she squeaked, "I mean, beat it stupid! I don't have my make-up on!"

"Actually, princess, Link can't wait. He's been traveling across the entirety of Hyrule for the past 2 weeks," glancing at Link, the fairy noticed he was holding up 2-half fingers, "I mean 2 ½ weeks searching for a toilet."

"Oh, in that case, it's down the hall, past the freaky-tuna-who's-eyes-follow-you-everywhere, two left turns, out the fire exit, back in the fire exit, a u-turn, and then straight forward," The blonde princess explained behind her fingers.

Link sprung to his leathered feet and dashed out. Sprinting, Link passed the freaky-tuna-who's-eyes-follow-you-everywhere, took a left turn, then another, dashed in and out the fire exit, took a u-turn, and somehow ended up in a bathroom. The boy fell to his knees, and began worshipping the shining porcelain bowl of awesomeness.

"JUST GO!" fairy girl screamed while leaving Link to oblige. After thirteen whistling sessions of 'Billionaire' and watching the sun start glowing red on the west horizon, Navi heard a ripping sound. Bursting in, she gazed at the blue-eyed boy levitating the doggy drinking bowl while humming, 'dah-dah-dah-dahhhh'. Her usually blue body was suddenly a fiery red.

"LLIIIIIIIINNNKKKK! THAT WAS THE ONLY TOILET IN HYRULE!" Noticing the enraged fairy, he chucked the golden flusher. Smashing a wall out, Link waved a swift hand at the once-blue-now-red fairy and jumped after his white bowl.

Navi flew down after the fleeing Link, shouting up a storm. Link dashed into the sunset, toilet in hand, fairy companion cursing the life out from behind. Nonetheless, Link skipped cheerfully onward, overjoyed that his bladder was now empty.

**Lol, guess sister Cheer and I needed a bathroom break ourselves!**

**Laterz!**


End file.
